Saying No To Your Kids Doesn’t Make You Bad Parents!

We should never strive to be a perfect father or mother in raising our children.

Saying no to your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent. It is important to mark limits, because it allows you to teach them some fundamental values.

How to be a good parent?  We strive every day to do what is best for our children.

We pay attention to their diet, we meet their needs, we play with them, we teach them to walk and read, we respond to their desires and we reassure them when they have nightmares, or when they are afraid.

But how do we know if we are doing the right thing?

We should never seek to be a perfect father or mother in the education of our children. 

In reality, the problem is much simpler. We need to be there for every step of the way leading them into adulthood, offering our support, guiding them to independence and helping them find happiness.

Education  does not necessarily mean giving the child everything he wants.

He must be taught to meet his needs, and not to go overboard. This assumes that, in certain situations, we have to say “no” to him.

We have to set limits, and that sometimes involves decisions that are not to the taste of our little darlings. However, that doesn’t make you a bad parent.

In the rest of this article, we will develop this important aspect of education.

1. Do not agree with him when he is angry

Your child may be around the time they start asking you for certain things.

He asks you to lend him your phone to play with, he prefers that dessert after dinner, he wants that toy he saw at a friend’s house, etc.

And you told him no. The child can then react in a totally disproportionate way, by screaming and being angry.

If you decide to ignore it, it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It’s even the best thing to do.

If you give in to this type of behavior, you validate his actions  and you clearly show him that this attitude can allow him to have everything he wants.

Anger should be ignored because it is completely unnecessary.

It is a childish way of blackmailing, which should absolutely not be taken into consideration.

2. Do not help him to carry out simple tasks

If a child does not learn to solve easy problems at a young age that relate to his daily learning goals, he may not be able to be an independent adult in the future, and that he doesn’t know how to be responsible for himself.

It is a danger that we must not ignore when giving it the foundations of education.

Refuse to tie her shoes every day or take on some of her schoolwork.

It is not being a bad parent to act like this, it is to teach him to be responsible.

He may protest at the beginning, telling you things like “ but I can’t do it, I don’t know, I’m doing it wrong, etc. ”.

It doesn’t matter if he goes to bed angry, or if he’s wrong about the answers to his homework.

What is fundamental in this aspect of education is to transmit to your child the desire to do better tomorrow, by providing more efforts.

He will then discover what it means to be proud of himself, and he will be happy with the fruits reaped by his own efforts.  

3. Tell him no

Childhood psychologists tell us that the critical age at which children begin to make their own decisions and challenge the authority of their parents is around 8 years old.

During this period, he acquires some basic notions on the concepts of justice, morals and respect. 

We must therefore do our utmost to guide him through these issues. He needs love, support, but also daily guidance.

Repeatedly saying no to your child doesn’t make you a bad parent.

You are just setting limits, and teaching him what is done and what is not. You show him what you expect from him. 

If you forbid him to use the computer before doing his homework, make sure you follow this rule every day.

If your period is not stable, and what is forbidden today will be allowed tomorrow, children will not know which way to turn.

Don’t be afraid to say no to him when necessary,  but remember to always explain the reasons for the refusal, so that he can understand them.

“Today you cannot go out to play because you have not finished your homework”, “You cannot go out at night because you are still too small”, “You cannot eat this dessert which will make you sick because you are allergic to it ”.

4. Do not always be physically next to your children

This is often one of the main concerns of many parents. We would all like to be able to spend every moment of our lives with our children.

However, we do need to work, and it is sometimes difficult to coordinate our schedules with those of our child. Therefore, some days we hardly see it.

That doesn’t make you a bad parent, though. What really matters is that you make every moment you spend with your children moments of quality, complicity, tenderness and love.

When you’re at home with him, make him your top priority.  Listen to what he tells you, answer any doubts he has, and make every minute count.

Children need to understand that we all have responsibilities. You work, and he has to go to school.

It’s not easy to be together 24 hours a day, and neither is it.

Children must learn to mature and find their own occupations,  knowing that whenever they really need them, you will be there to support them.