How To Detect And Overcome Low Self-Esteem In 5 Steps

It is important to realize that our self-esteem depends on ourselves, and not on what other people think. Learn to value yourself and love yourself beyond the rest.

When we are little, no one teaches us how to build our own emotional well-being. If we are fortunate in our family providing us with an environment full of kindness, it is possible that our self-esteem is more or less functional.

Now, as we grow older, this fragile and vulnerable dimension can suffer many ups and downs depending on each experience.

Society always tells us that in order to be successful we have to be unique. Good in all areas, physically perfect, courageous and triumphant.

However, we end up developing a semblance of self-esteem where we evaluate ourselves based on how others treat us. 

When someone rejects us, we are not worthy of being loved.

If we are fired, it is because we are not good in this function. If our friends leave us behind, it is because we do not deserve anyone’s trust.

It’s not good. We must never drift into such negative emotional states.

Today in this article, we want to explain to you what are the 5 most common indicators of low self-esteem and how we can deal with it.

How to detect low self-esteem in 5 steps?

Self-esteem is not, in absolute terms, “believing yourself to be the best person in the world”. And it is even less about seeing yourself as “the worst”.

The first case reflects blind pride, and the second is a clear example of self-esteem in socks.

We should learn from an early age to believe in ourselves and our abilities.

The problem begins when we focus on the need for others to show us whether or not we are fit to do something, or whether or not we are worthy of being loved.

It is a terrible source of suffering that we should avoid at all costs. Now let’s see what are the keys that will tell us whether our self-esteem is strong or not.

1. I’m afraid of making a mistake

Children, we are looking for the support of our parents and our teachers to do something: “If I’m wrong, at least the adult will be there to help me”.

But, we often come into adulthood and we continue to fear error and failure and think that we are not qualified enough to do something.

How to face this fear?

A low self-esteem is reflected, above all, in this disproportionate accumulation of fears. The first thing we have to get rid of is the fear of making mistakes.

Mistakes are not bad, they allow us to learn how to do things better in the future.

We should not label ourselves as clumsy just because we were wrong, because there is no worse judge than ourselves.

2. Irritability and low self-esteem

Bad moods, apathy, always being irritated about everything that happens or doesn’t happen is often a reflection of low self-esteem and even depression.

• These are the times when we feel like we have lost control of everything around us. We no longer have any illusions, and that is what is really dangerous.

How to deal with this situation?

• Set priorities, where the first goal will be to listen to yourself. Change your routines, your friends, practice new activities and hobbies.
• Turning off the mental noise of negativity will wake you up and lead you to new illusions.

3. Low self-esteem and desire to please

On this site, we have told you a lot about the risk involved in this constant need to please everyone.

• In the extreme, this reflects low self-esteem.
• While there is nothing wrong with wanting to receive consent from others every now and then, the problem arises when we need external approval all the time to “feel good”.

How to face the desire to please?

Try to do individual activities without explaining yourself to anyone.

Take advantage of your moments of solitude and learn, above all, to be assertive and to say “no” when someone asks you for something you don’t want to do.

It is necessary to manage this excessive dependence on others.

4. Load “the weight of the world” on one’s shoulders: self-guilt

There are times when everything that happens around us seems to be our fault.

• When our child feels bad at school, we think it is because we are not helping him enough.
• If our parents get sick, we tell ourselves we should have listened to them a little more.
• When someone criticizes or rejects us, we think it’s our fault.

How to deal with self-guilt?

We need to understand that our function is not to “take all the weight of the world on our shoulders”.

All the responsibilities are not ours, and we are not obligated to bring air to all that breathes.

Take the weights off, try to rest your mind and body, and enjoy the simpler things more freely.

Look for moments for yourself and stop undervaluing yourself.

5. Low self-esteem and lack of dreams

It doesn’t matter if you are 8 or 80 years old. We always have a project, an ambition and countless dreams that bring light and color to our life.

If you perceive that every day you wake up in the morning without goals or dreams, and limit yourself to letting yourself be carried away only by what others decide, then your self-esteem needs to be healed.

How to deal with the lack of dreams?

Dreams often disappear as we fall into the rigidity of the routine. Because there are no external stimuli and inside we do not feel good.

Look for new passions, sign up for a course, change your surroundings and especially friends. Sometimes making new friends is the best medicine for the heart.