Anna Karenina Syndrome

Lev Nicolaievich Tolstoy, or Leo Tolstoy,  left to posterity a novel which has not only become one of the greatest classics of world literature, but which is the reflection of the passion for love, so intense, so dangerous, and sometimes so tragic: Anna Karenina.

When we evoke the Anna Karenina syndrome, we are not referring to the tragic outcome chosen by the female protagonist of the book, but rather to the passion, to the emotional union that she lived, and in which she rejected her own limits.

In this article, we are going to tell you about the dangers of these dangerous obsessive relationships for our health, from which we often come out more injured than grown up.

1. Passionate love and its dangers, Anna Karenina syndrome

The one who has lived a passionate love in the past, continues to cherish this raw feeling, despite the harm that the loss of this love may have done him or her.

Obsessive relationships make us feel alive, full of emotions each more powerful than the next, such as physical attraction, emotional union, mutual commitment, and obsession, that feeling capable of doing “ you and me ”the most important thing in the universe.

However, there are a number of dangers inherent in this type of relationship, which you should be aware of: 

• Anna Karenina syndrome is experienced by people who are in a state other than that of simple love. They actually suffer from what is called an obsessive affective disorder, which is characterized by a loss of control over oneself, and by an absolute dependence in which the limits of the person are constantly pushed.
  She becomes able to abandon her family for the loved one, to give up what defines her and to submit to the control of the other to keep him with her.
• This love does not offer true happiness, because it is a great source of anguish  caused by the fact of not always having the loved one by your side, mistrust, fear of being abandoned or deceived, fear that the other is not as involved in the relationship, etc.
  All these elements create a permanent state of anxiety, from which it is difficult to extricate oneself.
• Little by little, the person loses their self- esteem, their integrity and their emotional balance. She will center her life around the person she loves, so obsessively that she loses some of her own existence. It is a totally destructive passion.

2. How to deal with passionate love?

We all know that in the early stages of love it is usual to feel this passion so intense and so indescribable.

Still, there are a number of factors we all need to take into account to avoid falling into the trap of the dangerous Anna Karenin Syndrome .

We invite you to reflect on the following points:

• Never try to fill in gaps when entering a relationship. Finding the other half can be tricky.
  All our lives we have heard that the only worthwhile goal is to find your other half. But, before that, it is necessary to develop individually, to become a balanced and mature person, able to be happy all alone, and to give happiness to the others.
  Do not look for someone to fill your voids and your fears. Love and a couple are based on mutual enrichment.
• Be careful not to establish a relationship with your partner that robs you of your freedom, that prevents you from fulfilling yourself, and that makes you lose everything that has characterized you until now.
  To love is to win and grow, not to lose and limit yourself. Obsessions are never good because they put limits on our life.
  When the biggest priority of our life is one and the same person, we lose a lot of things, because we put aside our passions, our friends, our values.
  Remember that the absolute passion for Count Vronsky of Anna Karenina, led her to abandon her child.

Never make the mistake of loving blindly

• Love with your heart and eyes wide open, loving in a conscious fashion, knowing what you are doing, and recognizing all the other person does for you.
  Does it meet your needs? Does she listen to you enough? Does it allow you to grow as a person? Does it allow you to grow as a couple?
  True love is not an obsession, it is a daily happiness, a balance in which the two people seek to solve problems, to listen to each other, to respect their commitments.
  It is a world in which jealousy, mistrust and blackmail do not exist.

Keep in mind that Anna Karenina syndrome is still very much present today. For this reason, love with intensity, with passion, but never blindly.