7 Rules That Will Help You Communicate With A Manipulator

We must learn to protect ourselves against the attacks of manipulative people and not be overwhelmed by their behavior. If necessary, it is important to put some distance to safeguard our sanity.

All human beings are unique and have qualities that define their personality. However, when it comes to relationships, it is important to learn to distinguish between people who hurt us and limit us by their way of being, such as the manipulator figure.

Manipulators seek to control our life and do everything in their power to make us feel inferior. The worst part is being aware of this and not having the opportunity to push them away before the situation worsens.

In some cases, this situation can go on for years and make the manipulated person a victim of their own life in which they cannot feel free to make their own decisions.

This is why in this article, we are going to share with you 7 rules of communication based on the strategies designed by the expert Preston Ni.

1. Know that you have non-transferable rights

A professional manipulator thus has the capacity to trample on the rights of others for his own benefit. Yet if we enforce each other and set limits, it is difficult for that person to take control. Remember that you have the right to:

• Be respected by others
• Express your feelings, ideas and desires
• Establish your priorities as well
• Say “NO” without feeling guilty
• Receive what you paid or be rewarded for what you have strived for
• Expose your points of view, even if they are different from those of others
• Also protect you from physical, moral and emotional threats
• Finally build your life according to your own concept of happiness

2. Try to get away from the manipulator

By seeking to maintain control over situations, manipulators will systematically change their attitudes towards other people. At first they may appear extremely well educated and cheerful, but then they can have aggressive and rude reactions. At certain times they will try to take the victims, but then they will be brutal and impulsive.

If you start to notice this type of behavior in someone around you, your best bet is to move away from that person. It is likely that this attitude stems from childhood and even if you try with all your heart, you will not be able to correct it.

3. Identify the problem

One of the best skills of a manipulator is to identify the weaknesses of his victims so that he can play with them. Do not find it strange if you feel a sense of helplessness or guilt when you do not obey this person’s requests.

It is important to identify these characteristics and always remember that the problem is not with you. If you lose control of the situation, you won’t feel good enough and you will need someone else to make decisions.

Analyze the relationship with the manipulator and identify the problem by answering the following questions :

• Does this person respect me?
• Are their expectations and demands really well founded?
• Is this a balanced relationship? Does one of the two people get more benefit from it?
• Does this relationship affect my self-esteem?

4. Put the manipulator to the test

If you confront her with certain questions, you can discover her weaknesses and find out if she has a little self-criticism and shame towards her own behavior:

• Does what you ask me seem right?
• Does this seem fair to myself?
• Can I give you my opinion on this?
• Are you asking me or are you telling me?
• What do I get in return?
• Do you think I believe what you tell me?

5. Stop pressuring yourself

Don’t let any situation put pressure on you when you need to make a decision that requires time to think through. Don’t pressure yourself and stay in control by saying “I’ll think about it” or just saying a definitive “no”.

Another of the favorite strategies of a manipulator is to force his victim to respond or act immediately upon his requests.

6. Learn to say “no” to the manipulator

One of the most important keys to communicating in any type of relationship is knowing how to say “no”. A clear refusal is one of the most effective ways to maintain control and a good relationship with the interlocutor. Know that it’s your right to prioritize and say “no” when you don’t want certain things.

7. Defend yourself against mockery and offense

A manipulative person is always looking for a way to feel superior, to create a feeling of fear or pain. Offenses and teasing are tools that this person uses when they feel the other is abdicating and losing control.

Face the manipulator

If you have identified these characteristics in people around you, do not hesitate to confront them. Follow your instincts and protect yourself from the harmful action of manipulative people.

In most cases, these people show their looser side when the victim resists and shows that they won’t let it go. Under no circumstances do you find justifications for this kind of behavior. Indeed, feel sure of yourself and oppose yourself without any scruples.